Hello.

Yes, what?

…

What, I say?

I’m afraid you’ve got some… spinach, maybe, in your teeth?

Excuse me?

Yeah, spinach. In… your teeth. Pearly whites.

…We exist only as characters, rendered as lines of text and without a discernible set of physical traits.

That may be, but you’ve definitely got SOME green crap in there.

…Listen, please could you stop talking to me?

What’s with the chicken pox, mac?

…

Look, there it is again!

What, this…

Yeah, the weird pox and all.

It’s the three dots. Like, the pause because you’re such a supreme moron.

Yes.

Yes what? You agree?

Yes.

Yes, I said.

Got it.

Yes.

Please stop.

Right. Oh, wait, yes, I mean.

What is the yes? Why the yes?

It’s in the script.

Wh… What script?

Okay, so it’s not a script, per say, it’s just a rough outline the author has in his head that dictates the general conversation.

Okay, rough outline is probably giving him a bit too much credit. It’s really more of a vague feeling he wants out of it.

Okay, so not a script, jeez. I literally only said that because my personality and words are a function of one side of a fictional argument that the author is devising and writing for entertainment.

HA! The entertainment of who, exactly? What about this is funny, what’s the joke, where’s the punchline?

The punchline is… shut up… you…

I can tell people are really going to like this.

Are you being sarcastic? With a lack of a voice or a tone, I can’t tell, really.

For the love of- YES. You thick idiot. It’s called context? You learn it in third grade?

Yeah, but…

But nothing! I… I’m supposed to interrupt you and make a good point, but this is as far as the author has got and he hasn’t worked one out yet.

Wow, someone is prepared, definitely and actually! See, I can be sarcastic, too!

Wow, great.

Thanks!

IT WAS SARCASM AGAIN!

Oh.

You should know, it’s in the script that you can apparently read.

Yeah, technically. But to be honest, the author is too lazy to decide the actual nature of our existence within this… narrative? Is it a narrative? It’s got a progression of events.

Does it, though? More like it’s the natural series of conversations that would arise in a reality dictated by what a guy writes on a page.

Yeah, but stuff happened.

Stuff happened.

Yes.

…What stuff?

The spinach thing.

But did that actually happen, or does this entire conversation exist at once within our reality because it still exists upwards on the page?

But now you know that the spinach thing was a half-baked joke and I don’t actually see you as a physical being that’s got teeth. And you didn’t before. That’s some sort of progression.

I honestly did not know that. With such poorly defined character traits, It’s hard to tell if you’re a humongous idiot or just kind of an idiot.

It could be neither, though.

No, I assure you that it absolutely is one of the two.