Hi to you whose belly rubs the ground! I love catch phrases. I like moms. I love me my chicken lard. Ten to one, it’s a whale of a time, matey!

Number 10- “Boy Howdy”

I love boy howdies in the sunshine. They make my heart hurt for howdy man plan dings. I like their… subtlety. Genius, mama.

Number 9- “Darn Tooten”

More than all the other little catch boys, I think in my mind that darn tootman is my fave of the low class pass masters. It takes me to my summer home in the suburbs. It borders a rock. It makes me put my closed eye face to the sun and smile with all my teeth. And, how!

Number 8- “Slip Skippy”

Now HERE is a baby boy that makes my ache pay. I like it’s brash nature. I like it’s stubs. Electrocution mama gonna drag me down. Do I understand all it’s meanings? No, man, don’t you kid. But it’s nuance is enough to bring even a sad sack daddy McGee to his knees. Needless to say, it keeps my jimmies unRUSTLED. Props, baby, props.

Number 7- “Sack It Up”

You killed a man by accident on his own lawn. What’s a few friends to do with that cadavman? Why, sack it up, of course! This rad blurt will give you lady numbers by the infinity, stud! And clean your pool.

Number 6- “Bring Down The Government”

They take our power and corrupt our children. They spy on us at work, at home, at church. Is nothing sacred? We can’t take their tyranny any longer. REBELLION! REBELLION! DON’T LET THE OPPRESSORS STIFLE OUR UPRISING!!!!

Number 5- “Demonic Presence In My Laundry Room”

“Look, Diane, all I’m saying is I heard something. The dog was in our son’s room. You were at Linda’s for the weekend. It’s suspicious is all I’m saying.”

“Hhhhh… What if it was someone breaking and entering? You know there are teenagers in this neighborhood…”

“But what about the handprints? In BLOOD, Diane. It’s sick. I’ve talked to our neighbors, they don’t know anything. Their kids were accounted for last night.”

“It’s a big suburb. It could have been kids from the north side. It could…”

“It could what? What were you going to say?”

“Nothing, I… I just…”

“You were going to say our son. You were going to say Billy did it, weren’t you!?”

“Look, he’s getting older now, he might feel like he should lash out…”

“He wouldn’t, Diane! How dare you imply something like that!?”

“I just… WHAT IS THAT?!”

“Diane, what’s wro… HGGHHH!!!”

Number 4- “Awww, shucks”

What else can I say about this classic? What else that hasn’t been intoned by all the others, the horde, the talk people of the inter webs. Skippy!

Number in the 3rd- “What the heck? This is bizarre. It’s… It’s crazy! What does any of this mean? You can’t put this on your blog!”

HEY, KID, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME FOR?! DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SUCKER?!

Number 2- “A birds in the foot is worth two in the bushes.”

My mom keeps asking why I grow my hair out. If she must know, my head is just SO darn heavy. It feels like I’ve got about a ton crammed into it. It leans forward like a son of a gun. So what I’ll do is I’ll grow my hair out really long and then tie it to my ankles so my head doesn’t put too much strain on my neck. The only problem is that maybe I might get accustomed to it too much and then if I get into a bar fight, my opponent will just have to cut my hair in the middle and I’ll topple.

Number 1- “D’oh!”

I love the Simpsons, and I think it’s more than fair to say that no catchphrase has had as much influence on pop culture as Homer’s famous annoyed grunt has. It’s even in the dictionary, believe it or not!

Well, that’s  my list of the top ten best catch phrases. I hope you join us next time for “Top Ten Reasons to Despise Art and Dignity.”